Breaking Up with Sovereignty

Examining Stories of Self + Other

Photo by Freysteinn G. Jonsson on Unsplash

“You don’t have to be so permeable, Sara.”

Spoken by a friend in conversation a few weeks ago about some overwhelm I felt during an intense social situation. I had just explained to her how some social interactions seemed to be triggering that overwhelm and how I was at a loss at what to do. When she said those words, they landed on my stomach like a thick, bitter medicine.

Bitter because it felt like a confrontation. As a recovering people pleaser, I don’t always tolerate feedback well… After all, I have spent most of my life behaving well in order to completely avoid feedback. Above reproach has largely been the modus operandi.

Medicine because what my friend quickly followed up with was a compassionate crash course on tending a “leaky aura.” And I knew what she was sharing was true.

I’ll invite you to visualize with me:

Photo by FlyD on Unsplash

Imagine the energy field surrounding your body as a toroidal shape, sealed by an invisible boundary/container. This boundary - in case you occasionally forget, like I occasionally forget - is something that you have agency in controlling. In other words, you get to decide what comes in and what goes out… Now, think of a time when you forgot that agency. Maybe life got overwhelming or confusing… remember that feeling. Allow your body to remember that feeling for a few breaths while you observe the sensations in your body.

What do you notice? These sensations might indicate that you have forgotten that you get to decide what comes in and what goes out. This is a sign of perhaps being too permeable; this is a sign that you may want to repair the leaks in your aura.

Take a few moments to help that past self fix or re-seal each “leak.” First, observe the unwanted energy that is pouring inside your auric field. Then, use your hands to reach out and smooth over the boundary until the seal is repaired. Continue to seal each leak until your field is protected completely. Breathe into your field with vitality and gratitude. Draw in with your inhale the feeling of you in your solitary field without influence, or extraneous pressures or information.

Attune to this feeling and heal. When you fall out of sync with this feeling, it may be a sign to tend to your leaky aura.

Do so and you will regain your sovereignty.

It felt like a giant weight off my shoulders to practice this with my friend, but the word that materialized in my own mind then, was sovereignty. It wasn’t a word she used, but was the word that would describe the experience I felt. And it lingered there for a few days.

So What’s Wrong with Sovereignty?

Sovereignty.

Now that’s a funny word.

One that is used quite frequently in new age circles, spiritual communities, and… geo-political affairs?

The origin of the word is in and of itself a nuanced word, varying in meaning as widely as its context of use. Once used to refer to the power of a monarch, it did not take more than a few centuries to be intentionally used to refer to the subjects of a monarchy. As an American, I find it particularly notable that the word sovereignty to be used to refer to the “sovereignty of the people” only gained in popularity first in the 17th century. Notable perhaps because, the (fairly modern) populist use of the word was transformed during what is regarded as a time of upheaval toward a more democratic society.

Furthermore, some relate the word to an ancient Celtic use of the word. In this context, Sovereignty meant to describe a Goddess entity who is an (often female) incarnation of the land spirits. This being would actively designate a king - and this is the notable part - whose responsiblity is not to himself, or to the people… but to the LAND HERSELF. Someone with more academic prowess than I can further explain the intricacies of this deeply cultural concept. But for my purposes, I’ll just admit that the word’s original meaning is not so straightforward. Oft used in the modern world, but rarely defined.

Photo by Philipp Pilz on Unsplash

Once a word to describe the supreme and even in many cases divine relationship of a human as ruler, now - centuries later - not only is “The Sovereign” the formal reference to the British royal family itself today, but paradoxically “sovereignty” is popularly used as a word for a person’s inalienable right to dictate liberty of self - i.e. without rulership.

All this to say, what even is sovereignty?? More specifically, in what ways has this word been made to create a myth, or been evoked as an emotional appeal for freedom?? In what ways is this word used outside of definition or context to simply justify our desire for the almighty Individual?

More Bitter Medicine

I’ll be honest: this word has at times motivated me to keep my innate empathic tendency in check. To keep my field a bit more leak-proof. As a recovering people-pleaser, it has emboldened me to rebel from mediocrity. This word has empowered me to trust my motherly instincts and establish boundaries against entities that would otherwise influence and control my brood. And all of this was good medicine.

Photo by Jan Ranft on Unsplash

But the mercurial nature of language and culture begs this question: when does good (albeit bitter) medicine become poison? To answer this question, I have to return to the inquiry into permeability.

Back to the leaky aura. We can probably agree that we cannot allow the aura to become too leaky.

On the other hand… what does it look like if you tend too much to the boundary of your aura? Establish too much sovereignty? You create a structure that is impermeable. Unable to grow, unable to receive, unable to nourish life. A person can become walled off and isolated. In more than one way, too much boundary can become your downfall.

In the weeks that follow, I will more deeply explore permeability and sovereignty in an effort to reconcile yet another paradox.